Author: MLMacomber (Page 3 of 3)

Do you ever take time at the end-of-the-year to evaluate your year? My husband and I started doing this several years ago and it is our opportunity to reset for the year. It contributes greatly to our mental wellness.

Want to do one? Here’s what we do. 

1. Set a date. 

Ideally, we set aside an entire day but this has varied during different seasons and budgets. Our anniversary is near the beginning of December so sometimes we combine the two and make it a weekend and others times (like this year) we just did what we could with half a day. Be flexible is the ongoing theme throughout this post. 

2. Do your homework

Before the designated date, we both do homework individually. We have a list of questions and we each take time before our EOY to carefully consider them. This allows us to really consider our personal goals first and reflect on what is important to us. Here’s a sampling of the questions we reviewed this year: 

• What went right this year
• What can go better next year? 
• What would make next year a banner year?
• What small changes can I make this week so that I start next year with a bang?
• What did this year teach me about myself?
• Who showed up for me, and how can I nurture those relationships?
• What do I need to accept about myself and the other people in my life?
• In what ways will I take better care of myself in 2023? 
• What has been a barrier to me completing my goals, and how will I remove the barrier in the coming year? 
• What do I need to practice doing more or less of? 
• Am I being pushed by fear or led by love?

3. Speak ground rules. 

We start our time together speaking out the ground rules . We communicate when we are looking for input and we were are just sharing thoughts. We make a commitment to really listen to each other and not give judgement about what the other suggests. Saying this out loud in the very beginning is important. 

4. Review the Year

Next we evaluate the year. We pull up our calendar and look at what filled our time. We share the answers to our homework questions. We spend time reflecting on the year. Other ideas are to review your social media posts, emails, or texts. Look at your spending. Where did your money go? 

5. Goal Setting

Now we set our goals for the upcoming year. We share the goals we created individually and then we record the goals we are committing to together. For example, Michael made a goal to run a marathon. That isn’t one of my goals this year but we talked about it and then set a goal together to do more hiking this summer. Here’s some tips for goal-setting. 

• Don’t have too many. Keep the goals SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, timely)
• Be honest with each other. It is extremely discouraging to get excited about your goals and then find out three months later your partner wasn’t really buying into it. 
• Be okay with critique. Take time to listen. Don’t get so committed to your goal that you aren’t willing to hear another opinion. 
• If you do disagree, present your argument with love. Look for commonalities in addition to points of difference. Remember, the point is to walkaway with a goal not the silent treatment.

6. Celebrate.

We end our time with a nice dinner or another treat that fits our budget and time restraints. Maybe go to a movie or for a walk at your favorite park. Take time to congratulate yourselves on a job well done. 

7. Follow-up. 

Set a date for a follow-up. Goals don’t do anything if they sit for the whole year. Keep them visible with a vision board or a list on your fridge. Whatever works. In a few weeks, sit down and see where you are at. Do you need to adjust? How are things going? 

As I mentioned this is an exciting exercise for us and we hope you use this formula to create your own plan to review your last 365 days and make next year your best one yet. 

One of the trigger areas for my well-read life is on road trips. You are off to explore somewhere new but you haven’t quite got there yet. You are seated but not quite comfortable. You have choices but are still contained.

Here are a few of the ways I keep my mind occupied when I’m on a trip (specifically with a few young people along with me).

Audiobooks

I can’t read in the car because it makes me car sick but I can listen to a good audiobook. On our most recent road trip my husband and I matched our book choices to the locations we traveled through and it added a whole new element in the trip. Be sure to do research well in advance of your trip and ask for help at your local library. Searching for books by location can be a bit tricky.

Claim it!

This is a game with no need for materials or complicated rules. Every participant chooses a number. The higher number the longer the game lasts so use your judgement. Then you count something and when it gets to your number you “claim it.” Typically, we do cars for this but you could also do houses, animals, street signs, semi trucks or retail stores. Just depends on your trip and your surroundings and the interest of the participants.

Street history

I started this one with my nieces and nephews on the way to grandma’s house. Whenever we came to a street name, they each had an opportunity to tell us a story about how the street got its name. Now depending on your audience, you might want to set time limits but if the idea is to kill time, just let them rattle on. In my case, a lot of streets seemed to be named for explosions. For a bonus, look up the real reason the street got its name. For longer trips, you could do this with the names of towns or stores as well.

Quiet Game

Need some peace in the car? Challenge your passengers to stay still and silent. This again can go as long as you want. The shenanigans can get elaborate as they wave their arms and attempt to communicate without sound but it is well worth it for some time with your own thoughts.

Would you rather?

This one promotes conversation and an opportunity to get to know each other. You can use an app or just have participants come up with their own questions. Be sure to ask the all-important follow-up question – why? – to really get to know your company.

Counting

You can count anything on your drive. Cars, animals, plants, signs, or out-of-state license plates. My 20-year-old son still remembers choosing a brand of car and counting how many he saw on the six-hour drive to his grandma’s house.

The countdown has begun. Well, for some of us it began a few months ago.

Filling the space under the tree can be a major stress factor as the end-of-the-year approaches.

As a minimalist, Christmas has become more intentional and less about the stress and more about the purpose. Here’s a few things we do to make our Christmas fit with our values.

Snow & Tell

As empty nesters we now do a holiday Snow & Tell instead of traditional gift giving. I read the idea a few years ago and it involves giving our family and friends an opportunity to share stories & knowledge instead of material gifts. We host an open house with finger foods and drinks. Guests can bring a refreshment to share but the main thing is they need to do a Snow & Tell. Topics from the past have included Top 10 Things I learned This Year to how to castrate a cow. Others have shared vacation photos, recipes, song lyrics, school projects, blacksmithing creations and family history stories. It is a time of sharing and laughter. While it takes a bit of explaining, once our guests catch on, they have seemed to enjoy it. The hardest part for me is letting it evolve into whatever happens. As with many holiday traditions, I tend to get a picture-perfect setup in my head and I have to relax that in order to really enjoy the moments that come.

Limits

Prior to snow & tell, my husband and I had drastically reduced our gifts under the tree. We live in such a blessed society and we wanted to move away from the pressure to just give gifts as some sort of gauge for our successfulness. Our model was the Something you want, something you need, something to wear and something to read. I love the simplicity of this and the way it gives you a framework. Of course, I adjusted this with additions such as something to give and something to make. I think the overall goal is just to be intentional about the gifts you give and why you are giving them. For us, the why was never to fill the spot under the branches or to have a really big mess but because we were thoughtful and mindful about the gift.

Time

I can not repeat enough how time is so much more precious than toys or clothes or stuff. Giving the gift of a dinner together or just stopping by at the home of an elderly neighbor and listening is the single most important gift you can give. And be sure to include any young people in your life. If they do this when they are young, it won’t be as difficult when they grow up.

Dinner with a twist

Gift certificates and coupons are nothing new. They make a great gift to bless a receiver with dinner, a back massage, or a car wash. My nieces and nephews get a coupon with the gift of making me dinner. I provide the ingredients and they come to my house and do all the cooking. They love it! It is a really special time and it keeps us interacting the whole time they are here to visit.

Scavenger hunts

For a couple years we gave our family 12 items – one for every month of the year. We then created a website and each month we posted a picture of ourselves with the Item of the Month at a local landmark (well-known but more often than not not-so-well-known). They submit their entries and the following Christmas we gave the winner a gift certificate to a local restaurant.

Scratch off game

Look for another blog post on how to create this. For this gift I created a large scratch off board with activities to complete throughout the year. I choosed a theme – I think the first year was encouragement – and I created 52 activities – 1 per week – that would encourage themselves or others. Activities included writing a card, making a phone call, delivering flowers, making cookies and writing a scripture. Many of them were to specific people – a relative, neighbor, teacher or health care worker. The following Christmas I awarded the completers for a full year of encouragement. As always, this could be altered to your specific scenario. For example, this coming year I’m focusing on health. So I might do squares related to different exercises, taking walks at specific places, making a healthy recipe for a neighbor or sharing a health tip on social media. And I might do 23 activities instead of 52 to promote a bit more involvement.

Wow! Just reflecting on these ideas has made me excited to get out the Christmas decorations. I have to wait though. No decorations at our house until after turkey day.

Merry Christmas!